EZ Server

Long but worth it... Feel free to add some more jokes puleeze!

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
You have entered Denny's.
You say, 'Hail Denny's hostess'
Denny's hostess says 'Hello, Tyranadin. Welcome to Denny's. [Smoking] or [non-smoking]?'
You say, 'non-smoking'
You say, 'I would like non-smoking please'
You say, 'what about non-smoking'
Denny's hostess says 'Right this way, please.'
You are out of food and drink.
Erlen shouts, 'has anyone seen the waiter?'
Daegarmo shouts, 'no and ive been camping him for a half hour'
You are out of food and drink.
Ester shouts, 'I see him'
Erlen shouts, 'dont kill him, i still have to do the order quest'
You are hungry.
You are thirsty.
You are out of food and drink.
You say, 'Hail Denny's waiter'
Denny's waiter says 'Hello, Tyranadin. You look like you could use some [coffee]'
You say, 'Yes I'll have some coffee'
You say, 'what about coffee'
Denny's waiter says 'Ah, excellent! We have [regular] and [decaf].'
You say, 'I will have some decaf'
You say, 'what about decaf'
You say, 'what about decaffeinated coffee'
Denny's waiter says 'I expected nothing less of you. Here, take this.'
You gain experience!
Your faction standing with Juan Valdez got better
You drink your coffee.
You were hit by non-melee for 39 dmg
YOU are burning!
You shout, 'Ow hehe this coffee's hot'
Kyrani shouts, 'Haha u sux0r'
You are hungry.
You are out of food.
Annoying kid says 'Pikachuuuuuu'
Annoying kid tries to hit YOU, but misses!
Annoying kid tries to hit YOU, but misses!
Annoying kid hits YOU for 3 points of damage.
Auto-attack on.
You hit Annoying kid for 17 points of damage.
You hit Annoying kid for 22 points of damage.
You have slain Annoying kid!
Your faction standing with Disciplineless Mothers got worse
Your faction standing with Denny's Customers got better
Your faction standing with The World at Large got better
Annoying kid's corpse0 says 'My mother will avenge my death!'
You receive 3 copper as your split.
You are hungry.
You are out of food.
Disciplineless mother says 'Your actions and history are a personal affront to all I stand for.'
Disciplineless mother begins casting a spell.
Disciplineless mother pet is enveloped in flames.
Off-duty police officer says 'Hey! No pets in the building!'
Disciplineless mother pet hits YOU for 18 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer hits Disciplineless mother for 287 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer hits Disciplineless mother for 234 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer kicks Disciplineless mother for 27 points of damage.
Disciplineless mother is slain by Off-duty police officer!
Disciplineless mother pet hits YOU for 12 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer hits Disciplineless mother pet for 262 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer was burned.
Disciplineless mother pet is slain by Off-duty police officer!
Off-duty police officer says 'Let this be a lesson, that none can withstand the wrath of the San Diego Department of Public Safety.'
You are hungry.
You are out of food.
You say, 'Hail Denny's waiter'
Denny's waiter says 'Can I get you some more [coffee]?'
You say, 'No, I want to place my order'
You say, 'Can I place my order?'
You say, 'Let me place my order dammit!'
Denny's waiter says 'Ah, would you like to try our [Grand Slam Breakfast]?'
You say, 'I will have the grand slam breakfast'
Denny's waiter says 'How would you like your [eggs]?'
You say, 'scrambled'
You say, 'I would like them scrambled'
You say, 'what about eggs'
Denny's waiter says 'You can have [scrambled eggs] or [fried eggs].'
You say, 'I will have scrambled eggs'
Denny's waiter says 'Excellent, would you like anything to drink? Some [orange juice], perhaps?'
You say, 'I will have orange juice'
You say, 'what about orange juice'
Denny's waiter says 'Our orange juice is fresh squeezed from concentrate.'
You say, 'give me orange juice'
Denny's waiter says 'Okay, I'll be right back with your orange juice.'
You gain experience!
You are hungry.
You are out of food.
Gordon shouts, 'Attention, your bacon is now raw, because fully-cooked bacon lacks the inherent risks associated with our Vision of Bacon.'
Valshire shouts, 'Wait a minute, this bacon hasn't been cooked for months'
Gordon shouts, 'Uhh... yes it has.'
Tunso shouts, 'You kidding? We've been complaining about this stuff being raw for ages'
Gordon shouts, 'Uh, whatever.'
Gordon shouts, 'Oh.'
Gordon shouts, 'uh.... I've just been informed that the bacon has been raw for several months now, but we were unable to determine this until we fixed a bug with the pancakes, which were previously large enough to obscure the bacon.'
Gordon shouts, '... Oh, yeah, we nerfed your pancakes too.'
Denny's waiter says 'Here is your breakfast, Tyranadin.'
You gain experience!
Your faction standing with Denny's Customers got worse
Scrambled eggs looks at you threateningly - what would you like your tombstone to say?
You taste your eggs.
You are chilled to the bone.
You shout, 'oh man my eggs are cold'
Tunso shouts, 'petition a manager then'
You petition, 'my scrambled eggs are cold'
Raynara shouts, 'Ack train to restroom!!!'
Aikbach says, 'Cailleach, I still can't believe you can eat this stuff'
Denny's waiter says 'Here is your breakfast, Cailleach.'
Cailleach begins to cast a spell.
Cailleach is protected from poison.
Cailleach says, 'I always come prepared'
You shout, 'Man, where's the manager'
Kyrani shouts, 'Haha u pteitond a managr u sux0r'
Napoca tells you, 'Greetings, Tyranadin, I am Napoca, the Denny's manager. How can I assist you?'
You tell Napoca, 'my scrambled eggs are cold'
Napoca tells you, 'I will be with you as soon as possible, please stay patient'
You sip your coffee.
A cool breeze slips through your mind.
Napoca says, 'Greetings, Tyranadin. Are your eggs still cold?'
You say, 'yes'
Napoca begins to cast a spell.
Scrambled eggs burst into flame.
Napoca says, 'Take care'
Elionia says, 'Ack, I don't feel so well'
Elionia begins to cast a spell.
Alka-Seltzer staggers.
Elionia staggers.
Elionia beams a smile at Alka-Seltzer.
Elionia says, 'Ahhh, I feel much better now...'
Denny's waiter says 'Here, let me clear that away for you.'
You say, 'Hey, wait, that's my food, I'm not done yet....'
You shout, 'Hey, this waiter took my food'
Erlen shouts, 'Yep, they do that sometimes if you let your food sit there'
You say, 'Hail Denny's waiter'
Denny's waiter says 'Hello there, Tyranadin, how can I help you?'
You say, 'Check please'
Denny's waiter says 'Okay, here you go.'
You gain experience!
You say, 'Hail Denny's cashier'
Denny's cashier says 'Hello there, would you like to pay your [check]?'
You say, 'Yes I want to pay my check'
You say, 'what about my check'
Denny's cashier says 'You must give me the check before I can reveal more to you.'
Denny's cashier says 'Ah, excellent! Would you like to know your [total]?'
You gain experience!
Your faction standing with Denny's Cashiers got better
You say, 'what is my total'
Denny's cashier says 'Your total is 6 gold, 7 silver, 9 copper. Will you be paying with a [MasterCard]?'
You say, 'yes I will use a mastercard'
Denny's cashier says 'Unfortunately your MasterCard is over-limit. Would you prefer to pay with [cash]?'
Your faction standing with MasterCard got worse
Your faction standing with Cheesy-Ass High-Interest-Rate Credit Card Companies got better
You say, 'yes I will pay with cash'
Denny's cashier says 'Your total is 6 gold, 7 silver, 9 copper then.'
You gain experience!
You receive 2 silver.
You receive 1 copper.
Denny's waiter says 'You have stiffed me on my tip for the last time!'
Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 217 points of damage!
Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 204 points of damage!
Denny's waiter hits YOU for 226 points of damage!
Denny's waiter tries to hit YOU, but misses!
Denny's waiter bashes YOU for 74 points of damage!
You are stunned.
Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 189 points of damage!
You are bleeding to death!
Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 221 points of damage!
You have been slain by Denny's waiter!
You are no longer stunned.
LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
You have entered Verant.
You shout, 'Can I get a SOW? My corpse is all the way over in Denny's'
Kyrani shouts, 'Haha u sux0r'

LOL at slaying the kid :)

Druid: /shout WOOT!! YOU HAVE ENTERED VEESHAN'S PEAK!!!
Rogue: Hey, we didn't die zoning in, it already beats the crap out of those Howling Stones...
Magician begins to cast a spell
Necromancer begins to cast a spell
Wizard: /shout Level 57 wizzie lookin for a group
Jenkins says 'Guarding you master'
Jeeves says 'Guarding with my life, oh great one'
Monk: /auction Selling Tailor made items at reasonable prices
Warrior: /auction Same here
Paladin: /auction Same
Enchanter: /auction Selling Platinum Ruby Veil for 9.5k
Druid: That's insane
Enchanter looks around for some competition, and shrugs
Cleric: So who wants to group with me?
Magician: Me
Necromancer: Me
Rogue: Me
Warrior: Me
Paladin: Me
Shadow Knight: Me
Wizard: Me
Monk: Me
Bard: Me
Druid: Me
Enchanter: Me
Ranger: Me
Shaman: Me
Cleric: Okay, Warrior, Necromancer, Bard, Enchanter, Shaman, you're with me
All others: *Various swearing*
Wizard: So who wants to group with me?
Rogue: Yeah, and I'm starting a group, who wants to group with me?
*Sound of wind whistling*
Paladin: So maybe we should do some scouting...
Druid begins to cast a spell
Wizard begins to cast an UselessUpgradedSpell spell ~
Rogue disappears
Druid dons a mask of the hunter
Wizard creates an 'Invisible to Mobs under 35 when it's a level 55 spell'
eye
Druid, Wizard, and Rogue: I'll scout
Wizard: /shout Level 57 wizzie looking for a group
Enchanter begins to cast a spell
Necromancer: Hey buddy can I get some Swords of Runes?
Magician feels his summons are useful for a change
Magician: Sure
Magician begins to cast a spell
Magician begins to cast a spell
A cool breeze slips thru Enchanter's party
Jeeves says 'Thank you master'
Jeeves says 'Thank you master'
Necromancer disbands
Necromancer: Well I don't need you guys anymore
Necromancer chuckles
Wizard: /shout %&^(( They saw my invisible eye, we got two dragons inc
Druid: /ooc *sigh*
Rogue: /ooc *sigh*
A Sky Blue Dragon begins to cast a spell
A Sky Blue Dragon begins to cast a spell
Monk: GETEM!
Ranger, Monk, Warrior, Rogue, Paladin, and Shadow Knight attack A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer, Magician, Enchanter, Druid, Wizard begins to cast a spell
Necromancer has feared A Sky Blue Dragon
Jeeves says 'Attacking master'
Necromancer: I got this one
Jenkins says 'Attacking master'
Ranger slashes A Sky Blue Dragon for 49 damage
Monk kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 200 damage
Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
Rogue backstabs A Sky Blue Dragon for 400 damage
Shadow Knight Harmtouches A Sky Blue Dragon for 800 damage
Magician hits A Sky Blue Dragon for non­melee for 850 damage
Druid hits A Sky Blue Dragon for non­melee for 1020 damage
Bard twists mana and hp recovery songs
Wizard's spell has been resisted
Wizard: %*&^
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
Ranger yells for help behind you and to the left
Cleric begins to frantically cast a spell
Necromancer reclines and yawns
Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 50 damage
Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 126 damage
Warrior: Oh come on
Cleric has cast a spell
Ranger has regained 900 hp
Cleric begins to cast a spell
Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 300 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 193 damage
Ranger yells for help behind you and to the left
Cleric: Quick casting my $*%
Wizard begins to cast a spell
Wizard's spell has been resisted
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Wizard for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Wizard for 800 damage
Wizard has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer puts on sunglasses
Warrior: Well there's a taunt at least
Bard summons water from his boots
Cleric has cast a spell
Ranger has regained 900 hp
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
Ranger: WTF? I stopped attacking 20 secs ago
Cleric begins to cast a spell
Ranger is completely healed
Cleric: There we go
Magician begins to cast a spell
Ranger is enveloped in fire
Shaman: Well at least he's useful now
Necromancer strikes up a conversation with Jimi Hendrix
Necromancer lights a cigar
Monk kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 450 damage
Warrior kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 3 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon is stunned
Warrior: Woo hoo
Druid begins to cast a spell
Monk uber­punches A Sky Blue Dragon for 800 damage
Warrior kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 10 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon is stunned
Warrior: Twice in a row!
Warrior sticks his tongue out at Monk
Druid hits A Sky Blue Dragon for non­melee for 1020 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Druid for 500 damage
Necromancer begins to debate the philosophy of 'The Matrix'
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Druid for 500 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Druid for 500 damage
Cleric begins to cast a spell
Paladin begins to cast a spell
Druid feels a healing touch
Cleric: %*^
Paladin: Sorry
Cleric's casting has been interrupted
You must be standing to cast a spell
Bard summons water from his boots
Druid: You mind?
Bard summons food from his pants
Bard: What? Can't you see I'm using my armor's special abilities
Rogue backstabs A Sky Blue Dragon for 400 damage
Jenkins backstabs A Sky Blue Dragon for 500 damage
Jenkins laughs an elemental laugh at Rogue
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Jenkins for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Jenkins for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Jenkins for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Jenkins for 800 damage
Jenkins has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
Rogue laughs heartily at Jenkins
Magician begins to cast a spell
Enchanter wanders blindly, waiting for a crowd to control
Magician: I'll try an air this time
Butler says 'Attacking master'
Necromancer chuckles
Magician: What?
Necromancer points at Jeeves
A Sky Blue Dragon tries to hit Jeeves, but is parried
A Sky Blue Dragon tries to hit Jeeves, but Jeeves dodges
A Sky Blue Dragon tries to hit Jeeves, but Jeeves ripostes
Jeeves hits A Sky Blue Dragon for 60 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon tries to hit Jeeves, but is parried
Magician: So?
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Butler for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Butler for 600 damage
Butler has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer laughs
Necromancer begins to cast a spell
Magician begins to cast a spell
Necromancer lifetaps A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer experiences a 2000 point swing in life totals
Magician sighs, wanting to be second best at direct damage
Druid sighs, wanting to be second best at direct damage
Revived Wizard sighs, wanting to be best at direct damage
Magician: Okay, this one is fire
Shaman: Just do earth, everyone knows the others suck anyway
Lil'Flamey says 'Attacking master'
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey's spell has been resisted
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey's spell has been resisted
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey's spell has been resisted
Revived Wizard feels some sympathy
Bard yawns, still twisting his mana/hp regen songs
Necromancer yawns, still sitting on his can
Shaman: Okay let's end this
Shaman begins to cast a spell
Warrior feels like an avatar
Warrior: Woohoo, you're the best!
Cleric: Oh come on
Cleric tries to strike A Sky Blue Dragon, but misses
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Cleric for disproportionately high damage
Cleric sighs about her armor
Cleric has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer takes pity on Cleric
Druid begins to cast a spell
Necromancer begins to cast a spell
Paladin tries to cast a spell, but quest hasn't been implemented yet
Necromancer casts a spell
Cleric is revived with 93% exp regain
Necromancer: A newbie gave his life for that
Revived Cleric sighs
Buffed Warrior hits A Sky Blue Dragon for tons of damage
Ranger blows wind at A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
Ranger sighs
Shaman looks around mildly, waiting to buff someone
Druid: Any ideas?
Shadow Knight tries to make a point, but there aren't enough of him to be
listened to
Lightbulb appears over Enchanter's head
Enchanter begins to cast a spell
A Sky Blue Dragon is showered with gold
Monk: What'd you do?
Enchanter: Gave him some pocket change
A Sky Blue Dragon is heavily encumbered
Paladin slashes A Sky Blue Dragon with FIERY AVENGER for massive damage
Warrior slashes A Sky Blue Dragon with RANDOM WEAPON FROM KARNOR'S for massive damage + 1
Paladin sighs
Jeeves says 'Guarding you master'
Necromancer: You should see the loot on my dragon...
All others: SHUT UP!!
Monk B!tCh­Sl@Ps A Sky Blue Dragon for massive damage
Magician, Druid, Enchanter, Wizard, and Shaman begin to cast spells
A Sky Blue Dragon is hit for miniscule fraction of total life in non­melee
damage
Casters sigh
Magician smiles
Magician: I still have my pet
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey's spell has been resisted
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
A Sky Blue Dragon is hit by non­melee for 178 damage
Shaman: You know your Earth quad hits for....
Magician: Shut up!
Necromancer: ...less than mine does
Magician sighs at Lil'Flamey
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Lil'Flamey for 600 damage
Necromancer begins to cast a spell
Wizard begins to cast a spell
Necromancer DOTs A Sky Blue Dragon for Trakanon­like damage
Wizard casts CrappyRainSpell
A Sky Blue Dragon is hit by non­melee for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon resisted CrappyRainSpell
Jeeves is unaffected by CrappyRainSpell
Lil'Flamey is unaffected by CrappyRainSpell
Wizard: Woo hoo, and that only cost 400 mana
A Sky Blue Dragon staggers, looking for somewhere to die
Druid, Ranger, Magician, Wizard, Cleric, Shaman, Enchanter, Necromancer, Shadowknight, and Bard begin to cast spells
Warrior beats on A Sky Blue Dragon
Paladin whallops on A Sky Blue Dragon
Monk decimates A Sky Blue Dragon
Rogue kinda wounds A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon is hit by a ton of non­melee
A Sky Blue Dragon says 'From Hell's heart I stab at thee!'
A Sky Blue Dragon swipes Lil'Flamey for massive damage
A Sky Blue Dragon has been slain by Necromancer's DOT
A Sky Blue Dragon has left no corpse
GroupOf13 look at Necromancer
Necromancer lowers head, then wanders off to solo dragons
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey casts ReallyStupidYonderSpell
Lil'Flamey disappears
A Sky Blue Dragon begins to cast a spell
A Really Huge Dragon begins to cast a spell
A Red As Blood Dragon begins to cast a spell
A Makes Veeshan Look Like A Worm Dragon begins to cast a spell
SadMage sighs, knowing what's coming
SadMage is burned with the fires of Hades
SadMage has been slain like you wouldn't believe
PanickedWarrior: Here they come
Necromancer feigns death
Shadowknight feigns death
Monk feigns death
Druid gates away
Ranger sits down and waits to die
Wizard evacs
Cleric wishes she had picked wizard for her group
Bard has been slain before he knew what hit him
Enchanter begins to cast a spell
Warrior has been slain like paper before the Whitewater investigation
Enchanter has cast a spell
CrowdODragons has been mezzed
Enchanter gates away
Casters gate away
PeopleWithoutGate sigh
PeopleWithoutGate are slain, roasted, and served with a white wine
CrowdODragons disperses
Necromancer stands and gates
Shadowknight can no longer play dead
Shadowknight is roasted by dragonfire
Shadowknight has been slain
Monk sighs

(http://perso.numericable.fr/~papabear/oc/lguk.jpg)

(http://perso.numericable.fr/~papabear/oc/pofear.gif)

(http://perso.numericable.fr/~papabear/oc/lakegroup.bmp)

(http://perso.numericable.fr/~papabear/oc/solro.jpg)

(http://perso.numericable.fr/~papabear/oc/merchant.jpg)

RETURN TO VEESHAN'S PEAK!
----------------------------------------------------

Loading, Please Wait...
You have entered the Dreadlands.
Warrior says "...'and that would be like taking your entire head, with cheese hat still on mind you, and putting it DIRECTLY under the nose of the giant rat...' I love it."
GroupOPlayers chuckle.
Magician says "Hey guys what's up?"
Enchanter says "Just reading some of Verant's analogies, they're excellent."
Cleric giggles at Rogue.
Cleric says "Oh sweetie thank you so much for the BP."
Rogue smiles.
Rogue says "Anything for you darling."
Warrior says "Now the next analogy involves the ocean, Richard Nixon, and three pigs..."
Druid says "We've been waiting for you two."
GnomeNecro says "Sorry, short legs."
Magician says "Okay, let's get going to Da Peak!"
BunchaPlayers raise their Ogre Swill.
BunchaPlayers say "Da Peak!"
Warrior says "Hold on, you're not coming."
Magician says "What do you mean?"
Warrior says "Only people with their epic weapon can come."
Magician says "Oh come on!"
Cleric says "Sorry, if you won't put in the time for your epic..."
Cleric and Rogue hug.
Magician says "That's not fair, mine hasn't even been finished yet."
Rogue says "Bah, I'd have two if they weren't lore."
Magician says "Yeah but the cloak...and the staff I mean there's only like 10 earth staffs on the server and there's no chance of me..."
Ranger laughs.
Ranger says "Summon someone who gives a d-"
Wizard interrupts "Tell you what, Mages can cast imbue fire opal, how about you imbue this for me and we'll go."
Magician says "That's not fair, you know we can't worship Solusek Ro."
Wizard laughs.
/petition The guys are pickin on me.
AFK response from GM-Guy: I'm sorry, it's working as intended.
Warrior shoves Magician backwards, who falls into a puddle of mud.
Warrior says "Hey guys, how's THAT for an analogy?"
GroupOPlayers chuckle and walk away.
Magician bawls.
Shadowknight says "Wow we took care of that class pretty fast."
Bard smiles and nods.
Loading, Please Wait...
You have entered Veeshan's Peak.
Druid shouts "WOOT!!!"
Cleric says "Okay, who wants to group with me?"
Enchanter pauses a second.
Enchanter says "You can CH right?"
Cleric says "Of course."
Enchanter says "And Res?"
Cleric says "Easily."
Enchanter says "And you buff?"
Cleric says "Constantly."
Cleric stands proud.
Enchanter says "And you have your epic right?"
Cleric taps her Water Sprinkler.
Cleric says "Do I look like a mage?"
Enchanter says "So you can res the whole raid in like...a minute."
Cleric says "I hope I don't have to but sure."
Enchanter says "And MoK got nerfed right?"
Cleric sighs.
Cleric says "Yeah."
Enchanter says "I see..."
Wizard says "Unresistable dds!, Lots of exp, Cleric will res ya, who wants to group with me?"
Rogue says "I do."
Monk says "Me."
Shaman says "Right here."
Bard says "Mana battery mana battery."
Shadow Knight says "Pick me."
Necromancer says "Me me!"
Paladin says "Take me."
Enchanter says "No me, Me!"
Ranger says "I do lots of damage comon!"
Druid says "No me!"
Warrior stands for a second, and takes a long hard look at cleric...
Warrior says "I can pull Wiz."
Cleric stands awestruck for a second.
Cleric's eyes well up, and she bursts into tears.
Cleric throw her water sprinkler on the ground and sits to cry on a rock.
Cleric sobs "And you were the first one Rogue!"
Cleric sobs.
Druid nudges Rogue.
Druids says "Dude your girl looks sad."
Rogue pauses for a second then nods.
Rogue says "I'll take care of this."
Rogue walks and stands over the water Sprinkler.
Rogue bends and picks it up.
Rogue says "Oh baby I'm so sorry, did she drop you?"
Rogue hugs the Water Sprinkler.
Cleric stares at Rogue thru teary eyes.
Rogue says "I'm sorry, I won't ever let her hurt you again. Cause you're my little resser, yes you are, yes you are..."
Rogue hugs the Water Sprinkler.
Cleric bawls.
Rogue returns to the group, kissing the Water Sprinkler.
VerantEmployee appears.
VerantEmployee uber-kicks Cleric for 35 damage.
You have been gravity-fluxed.
Cleric lands on the curb for 10 points of damage.
VerantEmployee points at Cleric, yeah you.
VerantEmployee says "How's THAT for an analogy!"
VerantEmployee disappears.
GroupOPlayers shrug and walk on.
Cleric cries alone.
YardTrash walks by.
Cleric has been slain by YardTrash.
------Later-------
Warrior slashes Silverwing for 110 damage.
Warrior slashes Silverwing for 110 damage.
WarriorEpic procs for 150 damage and splits.
Ranger slashes Silverwing for 100 damage.
Ranger slashes Silverwing for 100 damage.
Ranger slashes Silverwing for 100 damage.
Ranger slashes Silverwing for 100 damage.
RangeEpic procs, and both slows Silverwing's attack and Haste's Rangers.
Warrior says "Hey! How come your epic is so much better than mine?"
Ranger slaps Warrior for 1 point of damage.
Ranger says "Shhh! Nobody seems to have noticed yet."
Necromancer begins to cast a spell.
Silverwing has been dotted.
Necromancer says "I dominate."
Rogue uses his discipline.
Rogue backstabs Silverwing for 950 damage.
Rogue backstabs Silverwing for 460 damage.
Rogue chuckles, knowing he's the best class in the game.
Necromancer sighs, taking the bad PR.
Shaman tries to make a contribution, but there is nobody left to buff.
Bard says "Hey I got an idea-"
Wizard smacks Bard and says "Quiet battery."
Bard sighs.
Druid begins to cast a spell.
Five seconds pass.
Wizard begins to cast a spell.
Silverwing has been slain by RandomWizzieSpell.
Druid sighs.
Wizard says "My spells suck, I am soooo not the master of magical damage."
Druid and Necromancer shoot looks at Wizard.
Warrior says "Okay, time out here."
Warrior pulls out a book entitled "Risk vs. Reward"
Warrior pages thru it "Okay, Epic weapons are just supposed to be ones that you would use in any...any sit--any..."
Enchanter glances over "Situation."
Warrior says "Shut up, I knew that."
Enchanter chuckles.
Warrior says "But mine is only a little better and a ranger's is..."
Shadowknight says "Hey mine ain't too great and look at how hard it-"
VerantEmployee appears.
VerantEmployee summons a mystical window.
VerantEmployee grabs "Risk vs. Reward," points at the epic weapons, and tosses Risk vs. Reward out the mystical window.
VerantEmployee says "How's THAT for an analogy!"
VerantEmployee poofs.
Warrior shoves Ranger.
Warrior says "First you cry about your defense caps and now this!"
Ranger shoves back.
Ranger says "I'm gonna show you the analogy of me breaking my foot off in your-"
Wizard interrupts "LOOK OUT!!!"
Phara Dar strikes Ranger for more hp than a player will ever have.
Ranger has been slain by Phara Dar.
Magician timely appears out of nowhere.
Magician shouts "Hang on guys I'm comin!"
Magician trips and falls.
Magician shouts "I'm down! I'm DOWN!!"
VerantEmployee appears.
VerantEmployee shoves a paper in front of Magician's face.
Magician says "What's this, no weapons needed for dual wield anymore..."
Necromancer cheers.
Necromancer says "Wow we finally got the ability to summon weapons!"
Magician says "...and Sword of Runes only procs on summoned creatures again!"
VerantEmployee kicks Magician for 3 damage.
Magician has been knocked unconscious.
VerantEmployee says "How's THAT for an analogy!"
Magician has been slain by VerantEmployee.
Shaman tries to get mad at VerantEmployee, but is unable to become enraged.
VerantEmployee poofs.
Phara Dar roars.
Paladin tries to make a presence, but he's become mediocre.
Shadowknight roars like a lion, the way it should be.
Tanks attack Phara Dar.
Enchanter looks around for any more mobs and finds none.
Enchanter uses his epic on everybody and goes afk for 10 minutes.
RandomMob walks by.
Necromancer says "Don't worry, I'll solo it."
Wizard chuckles.
Wizard roots and blasts RandomMob.
Necromancer says "Oh please, you need a pet you'll run out of mana."
WizardWithClarity2HarvestEpicWeaponManashieldBardSongAndSpecialize chuckles.
Wizard hits RandomMob with Ice Comet.
Necromancer says "Fine don't listen."
Druid tries to burn a dragon, but is too high to fight Vox and nobody can kill Gorenaire.
Wizard hits RandomMob with Ice Comet.
Bard summons water and food for everyone.
Wizard hits RandomMob with Ice Comet.
Necromancer says "Whatcha at now?"
Wizard says "100%"
Wizard chuckles.
Necromancer begins to summon a dual wielding pet.
Necromancer pulls out his list.
Necromancer crosses off "Summonable Weapons."
Necromancer reads "Okay...that just leaves ports and sow."
Phara Dar Deathtouches Necromancer.
Players cheer.
Players shout "Dead Gnome, woohoo!"
Phara Dar roars.
Monk says "How are we gonna get out of this one?"
-----Meanwhile, In Velious And Completely Unrelated To The Fight-----
Loading, Please Wait...
You have entered The Lair of the Santargg Claugg
An Ogre plays around with a skeleton and an elemental, but decides he doesn't want to touch the invisible sword and shield man.
A Wood Elf appears.
Tingle says "Santargg Claugg Rowyl, would you like some cookies?"
Santargg looks up from his playing.
Santargg says "What kind?"
Tingle says "Bard shaped cookies, they're broken and getting a little stale, but I'm sure you can stomach them if you try."
AnAuthor appears.
AnAuthor points at TheSituation, yeah you!
AnAuthor says "How's THAT for an analogy?"
AnAuthor poofs.
Tingle scratches his head and shrugs.
Santargg sighs.
Tingle says "Kooloompa! What's wrong Santargg?"
Santargg says "Too much work."
Tingle gives Santargg a big hug.
Tingle says "We appreciate you Santargg."
Santargg smiles.
Tingle pulls out a list.
Tingle says "Enchanter wants a pet, Necromancer wants SOW, and Magician wants an Epic Weapon for Ogre's Day."
Santargg sighs.
Tingle says "Kooloompa! Hang in there Santargg."
Santargg says "Okay, no more play, back to work."
Santargg pulls out his tinkering box.
Tingle says "Anything you'd like me to bring you? Spell lists, Quest Bugs?"
Santargg says "No that's okay, I'm working on my box."
Santargg pats his tinkering box.
Santargg says "It's long overdue for an upgrade."
------Meanwhile, back in Kunark------
Phara Dar is hit by non melee for insane damage.
Wizard has slain Phara Dar.
RemainingPlayers cheer.
Wizard says "98%, medding"
Monk says "That was close, good job Warrior."
Warrior says "I was a little worried when he swallowed me, but then I thought...well you know the rest."
Enchanter says "Back from Afk, what's up?"
Warrior says "Only Wizard, Monk, Rogue and I are left, and you of course."
Enchanter says "Where's the water sprinkler?"
Rogue says "Phara Dar ate it."
Enchanter sighs.
Wizard says "I wish Cleric was here instead of Enchanter."
Enchanter says "That's a mean thing to say, why?"
Wizard says "Because then we'd have Rogue, Monk, Warrior, Wizard and Cleric, the only five who are any good in boss fights anyway."
Enchanter says "Yeah but I can help you get here, and I can tag along..."
Wizard says "Yeah but frankly we don't like people like you coming."
Enchanter sighs, wishing he was any good for boss fights.
BunchaDeadPlayers agree.
Monk comforts Enchanter, "Don't worry, at least you're not a Shadow Knight."
Enchanter nods.
RareSpawnVeeshan appears.
Veeshan roars.
Enchanter holds up a sign saying "Yipe."
Veeshan roasts Enchanter, and pulls out some fava beans and a nice bottle of Kianti.
Warrior attacks Veeshan.
Veeshan toys with Warrior.
Veeshan slashes Warrior for 700 damage.
Warrior slashes Veeshan for 50 damage.
Wizard begins to cast a spell.
Warrior slashes Veeshan for 35 damage.
Warrior sighs.
Rogue backstabs Veeshan for 150 damage.
Rogue says " Terrible hit."
Warrior sighs.
Veeshan is hit by non-melee for 32,256 damage.
Wizard sighs, partially resisted.
Wizard begins to cast a spell.
Monk slaps Veeshan with 100 blows.
Veeshan is stunned.
Monk punches Veeshan for 120 damage.
Monk punches Veeshan for 120 damage.
Monk punches Veeshan for 120 damage.
Monk punches Veeshan for 120 damage.
Monk kicks Veeshan for 140 damage.
Warrior drops his sword and picks up a tree branch and a rock.
Warrior flails at Veeshan for 70 damage.
Warrior bashes Veeshan for 95 damage.
Warrior says "Better."
Veeshan is hit by non-melee for a ton'o'damage.
Veeshan tail-slaps Rogue.
Rogue gains flying for three seconds.
Rogue lands on a jagged rock for 100 damage.
Rogue staggers up, and spots something on the ground.
Rogue says "Sprinkler!!!"
Rogue hugs the Water Sprinkler.
Rouge starts ressin people.
Veeshan says "My kind was born to rule, Peasants."
Monk has been deathtouched.
Warrior says "Um, little help here."
NewlyRessedRanger says "Hang in there!"
NewlyRessedRanger punches Veeshan for 1 point of damage.
Veeshan slashes NewlyRessedRanger for 700 damage.
Veeshan slashes NewlyRessedRanger for 700 damage.
NewlyRessedRanger says "Oh, come on!"
NewlyRessedRanger is slain.
Wizard says "5 seconds, that was longer than the average ranger lifespan "
---------------
Veeshan was indeed mighty, but a continual stream of ressed players was enough to do her in...
6hrs later...
Warrior punches Veeshan for 2 damage.
Monk punches Veeshan for 50 points of damage.
Monk chuckles.
Veeshan has been slain by Monk.
Wizards spell is just a fraction for a second late.
Coincidentally, Wizard is the only one who never died during the fight.
Wizard says "Oh come on, my spells suck."
Wizard sits down.
Wizard says "79%, medding."
RecoveredCleric wanders by.
Cleric says "Gee everyone thanks for helping me get my body."
Nobody answers.
Cleric says "Don't any of you remember all those levels I took care of you? Anyone?"
The wind whistles.
Tumbleweed blows across the mountaintop.
Cleric saved.
Cleric sighs.
Druid says "Phat loot!!! Loot the corpse loot the corpse."
Wizard checks corpse.
Wizard says "Only one item. Burning Embers."
GroupOf13 looks around.
ShadowKnight says "Stats?"
Wizard says "Lore, no drop."
Ranger says "Must be for a quest."
Druid says "Random it, random it!!!"
13PeopleRandom.
A magic die is rolled by Druid, it could have been any number 1 to 100, but this time it was 100.
NonDruids sigh.
Druid shouts "PHAT LEWTZ!!!"
Paladin says "It always seems to happen like that."
Druid has looted Burning Embers.
Cleric looks around.
Cleric says "Oh, poor mage."
Cleric grabs the Water Sprinkler from Ranger, who also is hugging it now.
Ranger says "Hey, come back with my lovely item you armored B-"
Wizard interrupts "Oh yeah we forgot about Mage."
Cleric resses Mage.
Sorry, bug in that message...-Rowyl
Water Sprinkler Holder resses Mage.
Sorry again-Rowyl
Water Sprinkler and thing attached to it resses Mage.
RessedMage appears.
Mage says "Aww, you guys cared enough."
Mage extends his arms in a big hug.
Nobody moves.
Mage sighs.
Druid shout "PHAT LEWTZ!!!"
Mage says "What happened?"
Monk says "Veeshan appeared."
Mage says "What'd she drop?"
Monk says "Some burning embers thing, lore no drop. Druid won the roll."
Mage stares wide-eyed at Monk.
Warrior says "Okay everyone, we're done here, let's go home."
Mage sobs uncontrollably.
Bard says "What's up with him?"
Warrior says "I dunno, he's like a cow visiting a steakhouse..."
Ranger says "...who is missing a shoe!"
Rogue says "Great analogy!!!"
Warrior, Ranger, and Rogue high five each other.
OtherPlayers look them quizzically.
BunchaPlayers port out.
Mage sits alone, crying.
MissedMob wanders by.
MissedMob grins, showing foot-long teeth...
Mage has been slain by MissedMob.

VEESHAN HAS BEEN SLAIN!
-----------------------------------------------------
Loading, Please Wait...
You have entered The Great Divide.
Shaman says "Sorry I took so long all, you know how installation goes."
Warrior says "I can't believe that you just got Scars of Veeshan now."
Shaman sighs.
Shaman looks annoyed.
Shaman says "And to top it off, I have an issue with a raised area on the cover of the box."
Wizard sighs.
Wizard says "Sheesh! Look Firiona is obviously wearing Vs. Cold jewelry and High Elves look better on average than humans so-"
Shaman says "No, that's not what I mean."
Shaman holds up a copy of The Scars of Velious.
Shaman shouts "Look at these giants, just showing their legs with no care for morality or taste. As a tall Barbarian person myself it offends me that they-Geeze! This one even has a slit in his kilt, has he NO SHAME?!?!?!"
GroupaPlayers look at Shaman oddly.
Warrior shakes his head.
Warrior says "Let's go."

----Meanwhile----
Loading, Please Wait...
You have entered The Sleeper's Tomb.
Veeshan says "Sorry I'm late everyone..."
DragonCourt bows.
Veeshan says "Just got my copy of Velious."
RandomDragon says "Yeah, Verant has been wondering why you aren't spawning."
Veeshan shrugs.
Veeshan says "I'm not too happy with Verant right now, I have issues with a raised portion on the cover of the Velious box."
MaleDragons groan.
Pink-Colored Dragon scratches her head, which is not easy for a dragon to do, mind you.
Sky-Blue Dragon says "Your majesty, the useless elvish female-"
Veeshan roars "NO!"
The chamber quiets.
Tumbleweed blows across the tomb.
Veeshan shouts "Look at the dragon on here! Can you believe they actually put this 'art' out?!?!? The dragon on the cover is TOTALLY NUDE! I mean if a dragon isn't wearing a breastplate or some manna robe it is at least covering itself with a cloak of flames. By drawing this picture Verant is saying that all Dragons are hussies and they are cheapening us as a people!"
Pink-Colored Dragon nods.
Sky-Blue Dragon says "It is true I guess, we are noble creatures and they cheapen us all..."
Woushi, The Forest Dragon says "Well, except for-"
Woushi makes quotation marks in the air with his claws.
Woushi says "'Lady' Vox."
MaleDragons hoot and holler.
RandomDragon1 says "Oh yeah, tell me about it!"
RandomDragon2 says "Hell ya! WOOT!!!"
RandomDragon3 says "I know, have you seen the wingspan on her?!"
Dragons high-five and cheer at each other.
Vox slashes RandomNearbyMale for 5000 damage.
MaleDragons stop laughing.
Vox says "Let's not forget who wears the pants around here."
Venril Sathir poofs in.
Venril says "Well technically I do-"
Veeshan deathtouches Venril Sathir.
Veeshan gives the room the evil-eye.
Eye Of Veeshan's AOE stun has frozen GroupOfDragons.
Pink-Colored Dragon hides her face in her hands, which is not easy for a dragon to do mind you.
Veeshan says "Good, and now that we've finished with this random exposition I think we have a story to get back to."
Sky-Blue Dragon says "What you just said doesn't even make sense in the context of-"
Veeshan deathtouches Sky-Blue Dragon.

Loading, Please Wait...
You have entered Western Wastes.
Magician says "Look all I'm saying is that Wizard and Magician epic items from Gods only come into the world on average every 52 days and-"
Rogue slaps Magician.
Rogue says "Shut up, geeze!"
Druid shouts "PHAT LEWTZ!!!"
Shadow Knight says "Took ya a while there."
Druid says "Slow zoner. I need to camp me a new internet connection."
Paladin hums a merry tune.
Monk says "What are you so happy about?"
Paladin says "New exp system."
Monk says "Yeah that really went your way, huh?"
Paladin and Shadow Knight smile.
Bard says "Just one more example that shows that if the players complain long enough, it's probably because it's Verant's fault to begin with..."
Magician says "Which brings me to my epic quest and the crappiness of post-50 pe-"
Rogue slaps Magician.
Enchanter says "Enchanters should get Illusion: Slapped Magician."
Rogue slaps Enchanter.
GnomeNecro says "Well with the way winds are blowing, I don't think anyone can argue that I'm the best class anymore."
GroupOfPlayers nod.
GnomeNecro smiles, being accepted for a change.
Warrior says "Well, we have to pick some other class that is obviously overpowered now."
Classes look around, suspicious of each other.
Ranger hums a merry tune, all in the clear.
13People look at Rogue.
Rogue looks around and says "What?"
Druid says quickly "Yeah, yeah, it's the Rogue that is the most overpowered, the Rogue. We should nerf him, nerf the Rogue, or make us all better..."
Druid looks around uneasily.
Monk says "But we're still gonna have to hate you Necro cause you're a Gnome."
GnomeNecro lowers his head sadly.
Warrior says "Guys I'm no Int caster but it seems to me that if we just stand in one place we're gonna be-"
Cleric shouts "Lookout!"
Red Dragon slashes Warrior for 150 damage.
Red Dragon slashes Warrior for 150 damage.
Warrior sighs and turns around, and hits the autoattack button.
Red Dragon, sensing it is under attack by Warrior, immeadiatly attacks Wizard.
Red Dragon slashes Wizard for 250 damage.
Red Dragon slashes Wizard for 250 damage.
Wizard screams and turns around, and runs like a chicken with his head cut off.
Paladin says "Mmmmmm, dwagons..."
-Five minutes later-
Rogue backstabs Red Dragon for 675 damage.
Rogue backstabs Red Dragon for 675 damage.
Rogue has slain Red Dragon.
Rogue chuckles.
Rogue sees everyone looking at him.
Rogue says "Um...lucky hit..."
Ranger hugs Cleric.
Ranger says "Thanks for the heals sweetie."
Cleric hides her Sprinkler, just in case.
Cleric says "No problem dear."
Monk says "Onward and upward people."

Loading, Please Wait...
You have entered The Sleeper's Tomb.
Druid shouts "Phat Lewtz!!!"
Shaman says "Must you do that every time?"
Druid says "It's my rally cry."
Big Bad Dragon slashes Druid for 600 damage.
Big Bad Dragon slashes Druid for 600 damage.
Big Bad Dragon slashes Druid for 600 damage.
Big Bad Dragon slashes Druid for 600 damage.
Druid has been slain by Big Bad Dragon.
Big Bad Dragon roars.
Huge Gold Dragon appears.
Woushi, The Forest Dragon appears.
13Players scream.
Wizard holds up a sign saying "Eeep!"
Wizard is roasted by Woushi.
Cleric says "We're in trouble."
ThreeDragons encircle the group.
Dramatic music begins.
Masked Bard appears on a ledge.
Masked Bard jumps down from the ledge.
Masked Bard says "Time to die, A_Verant_Creation_342,343,AND_344!"
Before the heroic group of 12 can react, the masked person dispatches the dragons.
Magician steps up to Masked Bard in awe.
Magician stammers "OMG...OMG!! You're that person who is--um...you know..."
Cleric says "It's Groll-"
Masked Bard says "No I'm not."
Cleric says "Yes you are."
Masked Bard says "No, I'm not."
Enchanter says "You carved a big G in Woushi's chest."
Masked Bard says "I'm sorry but nobody knows my secret identity and-"
Bard says "Everyone knows you, I voted for you for president."
Enchanter says "Enchanters should get Illusion: Groll-"
Rogue slaps Enchanter.
Cleric wonders if the author is ever going to let people finish their senten-
Bard says "I can't believe I'm really talking with you."
Masked Bard says "Look, I am certainly not the person you think I am, but if I were I would tell you that the League of Antonican Bards already has a spy amongst the dragons, and you must seek her out if you are to succeed in your travels."
Cleric resses Wizard and Druid.
Paladin says "Gro---Masked Bard, will you be joining us on our crudely-satirical yet somewhat entertaining adventures?"
Masked Bard says "Alas, no. Unfortunatly your author has neither the intellectual wit nor the decisive timing that has endeared me to the readers of the Message Boards and the Everquest Community as a whole."
PoorAuthor sighs and nods in agreement, then poofs away.
Masked Bard poofs away.
Shadow Knight says "A spy amongst the dragons, I dunno, we're getting close to something I'd call a plot here, I'm not comfortable with this."
Tumbleweed blows across the tomb.
Bard says "It's gonna be rough from here on in."
Bard draws his sword.
Bard's Sword sings "The hills are alive, with the sound of muuu-zakkk..."
Bard sighs.
Bard says "Maybe my quest isn't the hardest, but it definatly is the silliest concept."
Necromancer says "Speak for yourself."
Necromancer's staff quacks.
-Two sky raids later (That's 50 hours in Earth time) the group reaches the inner sanctum of the dragons, deep within The Sleeper's Tomb-
Enchanter says "Holy %*^, that's Veeshan!"
Ranger says "Didn't we kill her last story?"
Magician shushes Ranger.
Magician says "One small peep and we could be seen."
Ranger says "Well it's a legitimate-"
Group shushes Ranger.
Bard's Sword begins to sing a Ricky Martin tune.
GroupOf14 moan.
BunchaDragons moan.
RandomDragon says "Who is playing that....I don't know what it is, it's not even music."
Shaman says "If we were gonna get our cover blown, couldn't it have at least been to a good song?"
RandomDragon says "Hey, there's little things over there."
Veeshan roars.
Veeshan shouts "Kill them!"
BunchOfDragons charge.
Casters immeadiately begin to gate.
Warrior says "What about us?"
Wizard says "Be happy you're getting closer bind points."
Veeshan roars "Death to Gnomes!"
Necromancer has been deathtouched into a little blob of goo.
GroupOf13 cheers.
Enchanter says "Enchanters should get Illusion: Blob of goo."
Rogue slaps Enchanter.
Enchanter's casting has been interrupted.
Rest of casters gate.
Dragons close in.
Enchanter says "Thanks a ton, Rogue."
Rogue shrugs.
Veeshan shouts "Don't kill the remaining ones, lead them to our jails, they will be part of the next feast."
Pink-Colored Dragon claps her claws, which is not easy for a dragon to do mind you.
Pink-Colored Dragon says "Goodie goodie, snacks."

Loading, Please Wait...
You have entered The Sleeper's Tomb.
Druid says quietly "Phat Lewtz!"
Ranger says "This isn't a raid, this is a corpse recovery."
Druid says "And who has the phattest lewtz? Other PCs."
Wizard says "I can't believe I got this far without Enchanter and with all you crappy non-raid classes."
OtherClasses sigh.
Magician says "I don't see you getting the experience for Velketor."
Wizard sighs, equally Velious-crappy.
Shaman says "I got a pet, it's getting upgraded."
Wizard says "Your pet will never be better than Mages or Necros, and those pets suck anyway."
Magician and Shaman lower their heads.
Cleric says "Okay, let's split up and search for the others..."

-Later-
Bard's Sword sings "Business men they take my wine, plow man digs my earth..."
Warrior says "Shut that thing up."
Enchanter says "If I had Illusion: Small Rat I could get thru these bars."
Rogue slaps Enchanter.
Enchanter sighs.
RessedNecro wanders in.
Warrior shouts "Necro!"
Necromancer feels like he's wanted for a group for once, but the feeling quickly passes.
Necromancer says "Just a minute, let me get you..."
Necromancer chuckles.
Necromancer says "Raiding classes out of there."
Enchanter sighs.
Enchanter says "The best raid class at the mercy of the worst, now I know how the Rams felt about the Saints this season."
Paladin says "Shut up before I administer a beating."
CagedPeople laugh.
Warrior says "Yeah right."
Necromancer says "I can't get thru. Sorry, I can DOT stuff for like 800 damage and I can kill a blue con in 10 seconds flat, but I can't break thru this door."
Rogue says "Oh yeah."
Rogue reaches two fingers around the bars.
The door makes a click sound.
GroupOCapturedPlayers stare at Rogue.
Rogue chuckles slightly.
Rogue says "Sorry."
Bard's Sword sings "And IIIIIII-EEEEE-IIIIII-EEEE-IIII will always love yooooooooooooooo-"
Bard tosses his sword into a nearby moat.
Bard dusts his hands off.
Magician wanders in.
Magician says "Hi guys, we're all conviently outside so we can all group together.

(cont.)

-Back at the Inner Sanctum-
Veeshan says "Alan Canadianguy, you're charged with attempting to balance the classes in Everquest."
HumanMale says "What's wrong with that?"
Veeshan says "Silence, we are in Everquest, in the middle of a courtroom, this is certainly neither the time nor the place for logic."
HumanMale sighs.
Veeshan says "Furthermore, if the classes become balanced and everyone is happy, how will this peon here make a living?"
Author steps out of the shadows, dressed in newbie rags with hair so ragged it would make a Halfling retch.
HumanMale bursts into tears.
Veeshan roars, "Take him away, put him with the Ogre who likes pickles and the drunken elf."
Drake Guards bow and take HumanMale away.
Veeshan turns and spreads her talons.
Veeshan says "Do you think Ruby is a good claw-color on me?"
Pink-Colored Dragon shrugs, which is not an easy thing for a dragon to do, mind you.
Warrior whispers "Okay, everyone quiet this time."
Magician's Pet wanders past the group.
Taunting Attacker Master...
Magician sighs.
Pink-Colored Dragon says "Time to die Loser."
Warrior says sarcastically "Nice name for the pet there."
Rogue slaps Magician.
Magician sighs.
Cleric starts to cast buffs.
Warrior, Monk, Rogue, Paladin, and Shadowknight begin to cast buffs.
Cleric sighs, and wonders when she is gonna be given fighting skills if tanks can cast now.
Magician and Druid smile, since tanks still need damage shields.
Warrior activates the Velium Coldain Ring.
Magician and Druid sigh.
Magician says "Well I'm useless now."
Warrior says "I love being able to cast buffs."
Warrior uses his Kunark armor to cast Lesser Shielding.
Paladin uses his Deepwater Helm.
Shaman prepares to use his kunark DD bracer.
Magician uses his Velious Plane Of Growth armor to cast Reclaim Energy.
Cleric says "I'm sick of you casting that."
Cleric steals Magician's Plane of Growth bracer.
Magician pulls out the Harnessed Soul Gem.
Cleric steals that.
Magician pulls out his stalves of elemental mastery earth, water, and air.
Cleric grabs those too.
Magician pulls out his Temple of Sol Ro focus items.
Cleric takes them as well.
Magician scribes Reclaim Energy and casts it.
Cleric sighs and gives the Plane of Growth armor back.
Cleric says "What does it focus anyway?"
Magician says "Nothing, Verant just feels like giving us completely useless effects we already have 10 times over."
Cleric says "Cry me a river."
Bard summons some water from his armor and gives it to Cleric.
Cleric says sarcastically "Funny."
Magician smiles.
Magician says "Well, although summoning is our class ability, I guess it doesn't matter that bards can summon food and water."
Cleric says "And clerics."
Magician says "Well at least we can make bandages."
Warrior pulls out the knife from The Tower of Frozen Shadow.
Warrior summons bandages.
Magician sighs, then says "At least I can make weight reduction bags."
Shaman summons a spirit pouch.
Magician says "Well I can summon mod rods."
Enchanter casts Clarity II.
Magician says "I can make light sources."
Wizard, Cleric and Druid begin to cast spells.
Magician sighs.
Necromancer pats Magician "At least you can summon monsters now."
Magician says "That's just a random non-focused pet. It doesn't even get faction adjustments or special abilities that the monster it copies has, when is Verant going to realize that they just can't throw tokens at us and make our class problems go away."
RandomMage walks up.
RandomMage says "Look, I have Aegis of Ro! It was a kunark spell which they finally fixed the drop for a year after it was out! It certainly is a "new" spell just like they advertised. Now if you'll excuse me I'll go away."
RandomMage walks away.
Magician sighs and shakes his head.
Warrior says "Hey where's the big train of dragons?"
Pink-Colored Dragon wanders up.
Warrior says "Look out!"
Pink-Colored Dragon smiles, showing foot long teeth.
Pink-Colored Dragon disappears.
Warrior says "Huh?"
FemaleVoice says "Down here."
Warrior looks eye level.
FemaleBard says "New mask, pretty cool huh?"
Cleric bounces up and down.
Cleric says "OMG OMG, you're that girl!"
Monk says "It's the famed Bard of yore, Britnay Spearsman!"
Bard says "Britnay Spearsman! I know all your songs, 'Hit That Gryphon One More Time' is my favorite!"
Shaman says "Wow she's hot!"
Enchanter says "Enchanters should get Illusion: Britnay Spearsman."
Rogue raises his hand.
Enchanter covers his head.
Rogue says "High five man, good call."
Britnay Spearsman smiles.
Britnay says "Look, we don't have much time, we need to take out Veeshan."
Britnay draws her sword.
Britnay's Sword sings "...Can you take me higher, all the way to Veeshan's Peak, Can you take me higher?"
Bard sighs.
Veeshan roars.
GroupO'15 turns around.
Warrior shouts "The minions of Rallos Zek shall destroy you!"
Paladin shouts "Mithaniel Marr orders his righteousness, Dwagons!"
Wizard shouts "May the flames of Ro consume you!"
Druid shouts "PHAT LEWTZ!!!"
Magician says "Prepare for the obligatory fight scene."
Six big dragons appear.
Wild west music plays.
Players and dragons stare each other down.
Tumbleweed blows across the tomb.
Veeshan says "We really must sweep in here."
Close up on everyone's eyes.
Necromancer's staff quacks.
Dragons charge.
Magician and Necromancer pets try to attack, but they get feared away.
Druid's epic pet attacks while druid begins to kite another dragon.
Druid laughs at Mage and Necro.
Bard tries to contribute, but Britnay is higher level, so he's worthless.
Veeshan slashes Warrior for 1100 damage.
Veeshan slashes Warrior for 1100 damage.
Veeshan slashes Warrior for 1100 damage.
Warrior shrugs.
Cleric begins to use her breastplate.
Ranger hits auto-attack.
You try to strike Veeshan, but miss.
You try to strike Veeshan, but miss.
You try to strike Veeshan, but miss.
You try to strike Veeshan, but miss.
Veeshan slashes Ranger for 1500 damage.
Veeshan slashes Ranger for 1500 damage.
Veeshan slashes Ranger for 1500 damage.
Ranger has been slain by Veeshan.
Wizard begins to cast all his cool Velious spells.
Necromancer casts Arch Lich.
Necromancer says "Look, I look like a spectre now."
Enchanter says "Enchanters should get Illusion: Sp-"
Veeshan bashes Enchanter for 154 damage.
Enchanter has been stunned.
Monk jumps, ducks, dodges, rolls, hits, slaps, kicks, avoids, bites, and other such maneuvers that would make Jackie Chan cry for his mommie.
AverageVeliousMob is down to 99% life.
Monk sighs, give the man a damage ungrade.
Warrior opens his mouth to complain.
Other classes shake their heads.
SmartWarrior shuts his mouth.
Veeshan roars.
Pets are feared again.
Magician yawns, useless now.
Necromancer begins to cast a spell.
Your lifetap has been resisted.
Necromancer yawns, useless now.
Magician says "I'm leaving."
Enchanter shouts "Wait!"
Shadowknight says "You know we ARE fighting here."
Enchanter grabs the spell scroll "Phantom Armor" from Magician.
Enchanter says "Yoink! I'll take this."
Enchanter shoves Magician out.
Shaman shouts "You okay with those dragons Druid?"
Shaman looks at Druid.
Bristlebane smiles.
Bristlebane says "Yes...phat lewtz..."
Druid follows Bristlebane as if charmed.
Bristlebane says "Many phat lewtz..."
Druid drones "Phat lewtz...."
Bristlebane opens a magic portal.
Druid smiles and says "Leafy..."
Bristlebane prods Druid ahead.
Bristlebane says "Now tell the Prince what you want..."
Bristlebane smiles.
Bristlebane and Druid poof away.
Monk laughs.
Shaman sighs, what a childish class.
BunchaDragons turn back toward group.
Rogue shrieks.
Shaman says "Calm yourself, we need a plan."
Rogue sighs, what an old class.
Enchanter does a round of his epic and sits down to sleep.
WizardWithSeeminglyInfiniteMana keeps blasting.
AverageVeliousMob is down to 98% life.
Wizard needs something done too.
Bard begins to sing a song.
Bard throws his drum over his head and "casts" them.
Bard wonders when he became a caster.
Paladin resses Ranger.
Paladin swings the Fiery Defender.
Fiery Defender procs.
Paladin says "Woo hoo!"
Ranger casts Call of Anything and laughs at Paladin.
Necromancer makes a small fireball.
Necromancer sits by the wall.
Necromancer makes a dog shadow puppet with his hand.
Necromancer says "Woof woof."
Necromancer's staff quacks.
Necromancer points to the wall, "Hey guys look what I'm doing."
Necromancer gets into a shadow fight with his staff.
Britnay begins kiting the other dragon.
Shaman tries to affect the battle, but he's just too mediocre.
Warrior slashes Veeshan for 110 damage.
Warrior slashes Veeshan for 110 damage.
Warrior slashes Veeshan for 110 damage.
Warrior slashes Veeshan for 110 damage.
Veeshan hits Warrior for 1000 damage.
Warrior has been slain.
RestOfGroup ponders what to do without a Warrior.
Paladin roars at Veeshan.
Veeshan hits Paladin for 1000 damage.
Veeshan hits Paladin for 1000 damage.
Paladin laughs.
Paladin says "I'm as tough as warriors now!"
Paladin swings his Epic.
Paladin hits Veeshan for 70 damage.
Paladin hits Veeshan for 70 damage.
Paladin sighs.
Shadow Knight begins casting all of his cool Necromancer hand-me-downs.
Shadow Knight's spells, like Necromancers, have been resisted.
Necromancer's shadow dog has slain his Epic staff.
Necromancer says "Come sit here, SK."
Shadow Knight draws his duck.
Necromancer says "Time to die Shadow Knight."
Shadow Knight taunts Necromancer.
Necromancer and Shadowknight duel with the shadows.
Rogue double backstabs Britnay's kited dragon for obscene recurring damage.
Dragon has been slain.
Rogue says "Not even spells on the corpse?"
Britnay says "If I wanted no drops off of difficult creatures I'd fight the protectors in the Plane of Growth."
Necromancer's dog bites Shadow Knight's duck.
Necromancer has defeated Shadow Knight in a duel to the pain.
RemainingUsefulPeople throw everything they have at Veeshan.
Veeshan roars a dying roar.
Veeshan shouts "If I'm going down I'm taking you with me."
Necromancer has been deathtouched.
Veeshan has been slain by Guess Who?
RemainingPlayers cheer.
Rogue says "Wow, uber loot!"
Tumbleweed blows across the tomb.
Enchanter scratches his head.
Shadow Knight coughs into his hand and clears his throat.
Shadow Knight shouts "Ahem...Phat Lewtz."
Rogue says "Nice fill in there SK."
Shadow Knight bows.
Cleric's breastplate effect occurs and fizzles.
Cleric sighs.

-Five minutes later-
Britnay says "Poor Mage got killed outside."
Britnay lugs Magician's corpse back.
Water Sprinkler begins using her cleric.
Magician is ressed.
A magic hole opens in the ceiling.
Druid drops in.
Druid has fallen for 900 damage.
Druid gets up, his clothes all torn and ragged.
Warrior says "What happened?"
Druid says "Let's never talk of this ever again."
Shaman says "We got some nice phat lewtz for-"
Druid curls into a ball and rocks back and forth.
Druid says "No phat lewtz, no phat lewtz..."
Ranger comforts Druid.
Britnay says "Well I must be off."
MaleClasses collectively say "No you don't." "Come on, stay." "Awww, Britnay..."
Britnay smiles.
Britnay says "I'll be back, and since I'm a bard I could be disguished as anything. So don't be so touchy about looks..."
Britnay looks at all the classes.
Britnay says "All of you."
Even Enchanter thinks that's a good point.
Britnay walks over to Magician.
Britnay says "And you...Can summon me anytime."
Magician smiles.
Author poofs in.
Author says "Really, what did you all expect there?"
Author poofs away.
Britnay waves.
Britnay disappears.
GroupOPlayers start to walk away.
Druid sits on the floor.
Cleric scratches her head.
Shaman says "Well...I'm gonna go camp The Hole."
Warrior says "Yeah, I'll go camp Frenzied, Arch Magi, and Lord all at once in Lower Guk, but I *would* need a healer..."
Magician says "Yeah, I'm gonna go camp Quillmane for another 5 hours, I bet I'll get her this time!"
Druid gets up.
Druid says "Like hell you will! PHAT LEWTZ!!!"
BunchaPlayers welcome Druid back into the fold.
GroupHuggles.
BunchaPlayers walk out

Damn... I feel 1 up'd --- lol.

I'm old school.