Retard (Rtard) is a derogatory term referring to people with mental and physical handicaps. It is offensive to some because it tends to stereotype people of such handicaps as being of low intelligence and socially unacceptable.
Retard can be the social equivalent to a handicap person as n**ger to a black person or ch*nk to an oriental person.
My 7 year old son has Autism (his intellect is off the charts, but he's in his own world socially). Before we had him I was completely ignorant to the challenges faced by people with such handicaps, and would have readily defended an ogre with such a name. But, things being as they are, I can understand why some may be offended the belittling of such a condition.
...
I can appreciate your situation.
My wife suffers from "Lazyness", seems to be a common problem amongst women between the ages of 16 and 80.
It starts innocently enough with lack of laundry and then progresses to dishes and eventually the bedroom.
Seemingly, a side effect associated with "Lazyness" is "shopping vengeance".
Like others with illnesses, she takes offense to various expressions used to refer to them. Specially "Lazy bitch" or even worse "money spending bitch".
But, she too understands that sometimes when I refer to her as "Lazy", its meant with tongue-in-cheek and not meant to offend.
I hoping to find help, but, assistance with this is hard to come by.